The funniest sign in all of Bacolod

~~ The following post was written about a sign that existed up until yesterday and said “jeep stop” and had a little picture of a jeep and person getting on/off. I can show you exactly where it was.... and now where it isn’t. The sheer fact that this sign was moved the day I went to take a photo of it is further proof of the argument in this post (although now I am starting to think it was targeted at me). ~~

First off, this heading is only correct on good days – on bad days this is was the most annoying infuriating and superfluous sign ever erected.

You see, jeeps aren’t like buses, you can’t estimate their journey time on some fancy website, you can’t even tell if they will survive the trip and they certainly don’t have predetermined stopping points where you exit and enter. Oh no, they are the hippies of public transport, brazenly singing and cavorting  one minute, screeching to an unexpected holt the next like the dope has worn off.

Person A boards jeep, jeep hurtles 3 metres and drops off person B, gathers speed over 10 metres and gathers person C. Person D is innocently standing on the footpath waiting for boyfriend/lover/dog/police and the jeep considerately stops for them, just in case they wanted it, even though they are holding a large sign which reads "I do not want to get on your jeep".

So when I saw a sign boldly proclaiming “jeep stop” I nearly snorted water out of my nose and onto a stranger, I laughed that hard! And then I started wondering – who put the sign there and why? (Due to the lack of picture I will now state this was a proper road sign looking sign, not a post-it note someone had taped to the wall.)

Jeeps stop for people who have NO intention of getting on, but I can statistically prove that they NEVER stop at the stop sign (well, sitting on the jeep adding-on-my-fingers type of stats) and that therefore this is indeed a funny sign (on a good day) erected for the purposes of amusement by some deviate with a healthy sense of irony and a love of evil candid camera tourist moments (see above).

On average (accounting for weekends) I catch 22.5 jeeps a week^#, of these 12.5 pass this sign. So over 4 months I have caught 200 jeeps past this sign. And how many have stopped at this sign? NONE, that is how many! ZERO, NADA, NAUGHT, ZIP! “oh but maybe you have skewed the stats” I hear you smarty pants yell, “you only catch jeeps that aren’t supposed to stop there”. But my stats and I refute you!! You see, this isn’t some crack pot theory that I came up with today. No, I have been working on this proof for some time now^$. I have controlled for all route related discrepancies by sharing my jeep lovin’ between both Mandalagan and Bata jeeps, I have had new jeeps, old jeeps, scary jeeps, loud jeeps even clean jeeps (yes, it is true – I am a jeep floozy). And not one of them has come to any kind of stop, nay even slowed down to a roll, near this sign.

Last week I found myself trying to get the jeep to stop near this sign, even though it is 4 blocks from my work, just to see if it is physically possible. But no, I am doomed to never board or de-jeep^{^} at this monstrosity. (In the interests of statistical transparency however, this lack of success also correlates strongly with the disturbing loss of my ability to stop any jeep, anywhere, ever.)

Why am I so worked up about a non functional jeep-stop sign? I would like to say it is my inherent love for rules and order, but we all know that would be a lie. It is because, if jeeps stopped at regular, slowly approached intervals of 300-500m, I would be on time to things^& and would not have to endure the constant stare of Bacolod’s most annoying sign:

DO YOU SEE THE ISSUE NOW PEOPLE???? It is messing with my head.

That’s right, a passing observation has turned from humour to sheer frustrated obsessive (and slightly paranoid) behaviour.

So taking into account the statistics, the strange disappearance when the camera came out and the multiple long walks to work resulting from trying to get off at the damn sign, what else can I conclude other than that it is was clearly a piece of ironic urban art, erected to point out the intricacies and poetry of a jeep in motion?? Either that or someone in my office is playing with my mind...

^# Which may explain why i have a permanent tender spot on the top of my head – seriously people, would another 3 inches be that hard?

^$ Maybe it is time i called that counsellor?

^ yes mum, I know this isn’t a word – but if Cebu pacific and Philippines air can use de-plane then I can start adding de to everything too!!

^& before any of you chime in, yes I know that my unorganised nature means I leave the house late and yes the aforementioned loss of language skill means I wouldn’t be able to get off, even if the planets did align so I left the house on time and got on an ordered jeep, but this makes me feel better, ok?